Is It Wrong To Do A Tarot Reading On Someone Without Their Permission?

I do readings for myself on a daily basis. My readings are either for me or a general reading to put on my Instagram page. The ethical conundrum of whether you can do a tarot reading on someone else without their consent rarely comes up for me on a personal level, but it may come up when I’m doing a reading for someone else and I know it’s an issue that many tarot readers like to debate.

A lot of tarot readers say it’s okay when you’re new to the tarot because you’re just practicing and sometimes doing readings about other people can be helpful.

The following spreads show two different ways you can get insight into a situation. One looks into the life of someone without their consent and the other only looks at the querent’s life.

Will my ex come back to me? (Spread 1)

1 – What did the relationship mean to me

2 – What did the relationship mean to my ex

3 – Does my ex still think about me

4 – Does my ex want me back

Will my ex come back to me? (Spread 2)

1 – What did the relationship mean to me

2 – Will I I move on

3 – What can I do to get my ex back?

4 – Outcome

These two spreads involve the same query but they are very different. The first one will enable the reader to look into the mind and life of the ex. Whomever the ex may be, he or she may not be happy about it if he/she knew.

The second spread focuses on the querent’s life and any knowledge gained from this reading will be about the querent and how they can either move on or change to attract their ex back. It won’t give any information about the ex.

Personally I’d use either spread depending on the situation and what the querent wants to know. Whether you’re a tarot reader who thinks it’s wrong or not, you must remember that the tarot is used as a way to gain insight into matters that are otherwise a mystery to us. The lives of others can be a mystery and although it isn’t right to poke around in others peoples lives for no reason, there are circumstances when it might be necessary.

I’d like to hear other people’s thoughts on this. I also wonder, if you wanted your ex back which spread would you choose?

Advertisement

Should You Spend A Lot On A Tarot Deck?

The short answer to this question is yes, but it depends on how much you think ‘a lot’ is. For me, anything above £40 is expensive, for other people, anything above £100 is expensive for a deck. There are some lucky people who have enough money to not worry about the price of things, but let’s forget those people for a moment.

If you go on Ebay you can find incredibly cheap decks for as little as £4, but are they any good? I’ve bought cheap tarot decks before and I’ve gotta say, they’re not really worth getting. Think about those cheap playing cards you get in a Christmas cracker and how flimsy they are, cheap tarot cards are like that. They’re usually smaller than regular tarot cards too.

Christmas cracker items.

You can find popular tarot decks like the ‘Rider Waite’ deck or the ‘Wild Unknown’ deck cheap on Ebay. The problem is they’re knock offs. You’ll get the same imagery on small, thin pieces of cards and the colours are often a bit off.

Why does it matter if the cards are cheaply made? In a way it doesn’t matter so much, after all tarot cards are used as a tool for divination, they surely don’t have to be expensive do they? Well thin cards are more difficult to shuffle which can be frustrating when doing a reading. They also don’t last as long and get scuff marks very quickly. The other issue is that they just don’t feel right, it feels more like a game and less like cartomancy.

It’s popular these days to print off you’re own cards. This is preferable to buying cheap cards because at least you can use better card, but if you’re not knowledgeable on how to do that then I wouldn’t bother.

There’s nothing like getting an official deck as it was intended to be, in its correct box and printed on decent card. It feels right and its so much more magical. You can really connect with the creator of the cards and experience what they wanted you to experience from their deck.

Some people collect tarot decks and they end up spending a fortune over their life time. I try not to be one of those people but I’ve got to admit it’s difficult not to be one of them. I love getting a new deck! It’s very exciting. What makes it so much more exciting is knowing that you’re getting quality.

As I mentioned earlier, I don’t like to spend more than £40 on a deck. The most I’ve spent is £50 but that did include the cost of postage. My advice is to also put a limit on how much you’re prepared to spend. Buying tarot decks can be addictive and sometimes it seems a bit silly to buy a £200 deck when you consider that it’s just a set of cards with pretty pictures on them.

Whether you’re looking for your first deck or another deck for your collection, make sure to get it from a reputable shop or online seller. Forget doing an Ebay search. Look on Etsy if you want but the best way is to simply type ‘online tarot shop’ and go on the websites that come up. You’ll find that their cheapest decks will be around £30 and that’s because they only sell good quality decks.

If you’re not in a lockdown situation and you can do a bit of non essential shopping then go to a witch shop or New age shop. I wouldn’t advise you to buy tarot cards in a shop like ‘The Works’ for example. The advice is to always shop around and consider the prices. If it’s cheap then there’s usually a reason.

If you’d like to contribute to my tarot collection then a donation would be nice 😀

Donate

Should You Sugar-coat A Reading?

The dreaded negative spread full of depressing cards can be upsetting when it’s a reading for yourself and nerve-wracking when it’s a reading for someone else. So what do you do when someone comes to you hoping for a positive reading and every card is negative?

I recently did a reading for someone who was at a crossroads in his life. The cards provided answers but I knew they weren’t the answers he was hoping for. I definitely found myself concentrating on the positive side of things. The reason for doing this was because the client had expressed at the beginning of the reading that he was terrified he’d get the death card or something scary. He was apprehensive about even getting a reading in the first place. I didn’t want to confirm his fears by telling him the bad news and so I sugar-coated slightly.

The question is though, what is sugar-coating? I’ve talked to a lot of people who visit psychics and tarot readers regularly who say that there’s nothing worse than sugar-coating. When I discussed this more with them I came to the conclusion that in their opinion, sugar-coating a tarot reading isn’t just a case of focusing more on the positives, it is a case of completely ignoring the negatives.

I don’t believe there are many psychics and tarot readers who ignore the negative side of a reading but a reader who concentrates on the hope that comes from a reading rather than the despair may be classed as a sugar-coater. I think this is a wrong assumption for many reasons. Firstly in every negative card, there is hope in there and in some cases a positive interpretation. The Death card is an obvious example. It can mean a bad change, the end of something good but more often than not it can represent the end of an old way of life and the beginning of a better one. It isn’t sugar-coating to tell the client what the cards really say, and there is always hope somewhere or lessons to be learned to achieve a positive outcome. In life there’s a balance of bad and good and the same goes for any tarot spread.

The second point I want to mention is that a reader’s approach is very important. Most psychics, mediums and tarot readers are compassionate and empathic, they want to help people and guide them. They are rarely blunt and negative because they don’t want to hurt the client, they want to assist the client in whatever way they can. If a tarot reader said “Oh we’ve got the Tower and The Death card, yeah your life is ruined, if I were you I’d just give up trying” then the client would be very upset and the tarot reader would technically be lying because getting those two cards have many different interpretations. Someone shouldn’t be told to give up on life since the tarot should offer guidance to move past the negatives.

The key is to balance the reading, if it’s a bad spread then there is nothing wrong with telling the client the positive side of it, as long as you also mention why it’s a negative reading. A tarot reading should help to guide someone and so a negative reading isn’t even necessarily bad. Depending on the nature of the question asked by the querent, a negative spread could indicate past difficulties and detrimental patterns that the client must learn from.

Sometimes it is down to someone’s personal preferences. When I’m unwell, I want someone to tell me I’m going to be alright. I don’t want someone to say ‘Yep sounds like a brain tumour’ when I meet someone who says ‘I say it as it is, if I don’t like you I’ll tell you’ I instantly think that person is probably not very nice whereas some people prefer someone like that who is brutally honest. If you’re ever unsure, ask what the client wants from the reading, try to figure out if they can handle straightforward negative answers or if they’re the kind of person who needs some hope too.

You can never please everyone! some people will get angry with a negative reading, others will appreciate the honesty. Some will claim you were sugar-coating and others will be glad to get some hope out of a negative reading. Everyone is different and it’s down to the reader to choose how they deliver the reading.

How Do I Know Which Card To Pick?

When it comes to reading tarot cards, there is an issue that isn’t talked about enough. How do you know which card to pick?! You can shuffle the deck continuously, asking your questions and trying to sense which card feels right, but even then do you know it’s the right one?

When I first started reading with tarot cards, I used to just pick a card like you would if someone was asked to pick a card for a magic trick. I didn’t really put any thought into it. I mostly got the right results but the more I got into it, the more I started second guessing myself and worrying that I had chosen the wrong cards.

It didn’t take long for me to realise that I needed peace and quiet to conduct a reading, I needed to focus on my question and I needed to feel the cards and not look at them. When I did this, I started to feel a kind of energy around the cards, in my minds eye I could sense the direction if the card I was looking for, it just felt right. I’m not saying you should do as I do, but being completely focused and closing your eyes helps you to have faith that something will guide your hand. I can’t say for sure whether there is a magical force around the cards, it could just be in my head but it doesn’t matter if its magic, spirit guides, your higher self or your own brain, if it feels right then it’s good.

Sometimes even to this day, every now and then I’ll do a reading and one of the cards won’t feel right when I pick it, I then have to make the difficult decision to either put the card back and pull another, or stick with the card because I may have chosen it for a reason, even if it didn’t feel right. I hate it when this happens and other readers have complained about the same thing.

The best thing to do if you pick cards that don’t feel right is to stop. Sometimes you do just have a bad day. Sometimes the connection isn’t there. You could be suffering from stress and other issues in the back of your head and so the tarot reading is being affected. When this happens you need to go off, clear your head, ground yourself and maybe even meditate to try and prepare yourself to do a reading.

It gets a little tricky when you get that ‘wrong card’ feeling whilst you’re doing a reading for someone else face to face. You don’t want to look unprofessional and get another card and there is usually that feeling that maybe the card is right but you just couldn’t sense it. My advice would be to stick with the card. If you get it for every card and it’s just not working then you might have to be completely honest and admit you’re not feeling it.

Another problem with reading for others is, do you let the client pick the cards? I used to let clients pick the cards but Strangely with my latest working deck, I had to stop that. Some decks can be used by anyone and everyone and others seem to work best with the reader. I did a tarot reading for a friend when I got my latest deck, I wanted to practice with them and I let her pick the cards. The reading seemed way off and didn’t really yield any proper answers to the questions asked. At first I put it down to them being a new deck and having no connection with me yet, but then I tried choosing the cards myself and I got an incredibly accurate reading. The message here is, if you’re unsure whether to let the client choose a card, test the deck that you want to use professionally on friends and family to determine what the deck wants. I know it sounds crazy to put it like that, but honestly every deck is different.

If you’re new to the tarot, just remember that choosing the cards becomes easier and even if you have an off day, it will come back to you.

Does It Matter Which Tarot Deck You Use For A Reading?

When I conduct an email reading, I always include a photograph of the spread. I do this for several reasons, firstly it proves that I did a reading. You probably won’t be surprised to know that there are a lot of scammers out there who will copy and paste a reading they found online and send it out for money. Secondly, it allows the client to better understand the reading and having a picture of the spread makes it seem a little more like a face to face reading. The final reason is that tarot cards look pretty.

When I started out, I used a Rider Waite deck for face to face readings. It was great because the imagery is vivid and I’d even get clients interpreting the cards with me or asking me questions about the imagery. A lot of people knew the deck too since it’s a popular one that a lot of decks are based on. My only issue was that the Rider Waite deck isn’t pretty enough for me, so I got the Tarot Mucha deck. This deck is based on the Rider Waite deck, but is so much more to look at. For me, its art nouveau style and vibrant colours makes it better than the regular Rider Waite deck.

Mucha Tarot

Around the time I got the Mucha Tarot deck, I began conducting readings by email. I enjoyed posting pictures of my new deck on Instagram and sending pictures of the cards to clients.

Recently as some may already know, I bought the Light Visions tarot deck. This deck is beautiful but a lot darker and mysterious when compared with my other decks. It’s monochrome and less colourful when compared with the Mucha Tarot. I’ve been using this deck to conduct my readings and today it got me thinking whether the deck used to do readings makes a difference.

Light Visions Tarot

I won’t talk about different interpretations and imagery but rather the aesthetics and the mood of a deck. When I take a picture of a spread using the Light Visions deck, I notice how bleak it can look and wonder if this has a small impact on the clients interpretation of the reading. Conversely when a client sees a picture of the Mucha Tarot, does it make them think of the reading in a more positive light? even if the reading is slightly negative.

It’s a similar issue with trusting the cards. When I see certain oracle decks that are cute and straight to the point, there’s a part of me that doesn’t take them seriously. In the back of my mind I have a kind of prejudice, that tarot cards should look mysterious and old. They shouldn’t have cute messages on them, but rather some number in roman numerals or something that gives off an air of wisdom.

Pastel Magic Tarot (An example of a beautifully cute deck)

For anyone who has received a tarot reading by email, or for anyone who does tarot readings for clients, I’d like to hear your thoughts on whether the choice of deck makes any kind of difference.